Monday, March 3, 2008

Feeling Sorry For Myself

Okay well today I'm just going to feel sorry for me. I feel so taken advantage of sometimes, by my kids and my husband. I know my husband works hard but for god sakes, when he gets off of work he just wants to be done with his day. My kids just constantly tell me what they want, throw a fit if I don't get it for them and all heck hits the fan if they have to wait a second.

My husband comes home from work today, I had been cooking for about an hour, I was trying out a new recipe. I needed to get my daughter to the dentist at five so I was hurrying. I made everyone a plate, rushed my daughter to eat and get her teeth brushed and off we went running out the door to get there on time. I did not even get a chance to eat my dinner that I had spent a total of and hour and a half cooking, I would have to eat it when I got home and heat it up.

I got home to my husband letting me know that he had spent the whole time cleaning up the kitchen and the kids and was ready to go sit down that his day should be over. Okay, yes he had worked all day, hmmm I did too, but did I have to hear about oh how much he did and that he should be able to sit down. Maybe I'm wrong here but this is not a secluded incident, he tell me a lot about how much he does and for some reason it is just expected that dinner needs to be made and the cleaning just needs to be done and oh he expects his laundry to be cleaned to. I am just not positive that he knows it is me doing all of those things, I think he might believe a little fairy comes and magically takes care of all of those things.

I feel like the only way for them to see how much I do is for me to be gone for a few days, maybe after a few days they will be more appreciative of me and everything that I do. I know I'm not alone out there with this same issue, most of us women that have a husband or significant other and children that have felt this same thing a time or two, or possibly every single day. Not sure what century we live in but last I checked it was not the 18th century anymore. Fifty/Fifty that is what I believe in and that is what I expect, not that it will ever be that in my world but that is what I consistently work to get my husband to understand.

He thinks that I'm lucky he does anything that most men hang out with the guys do there own thing and he doesn't.......well good for them but he is not even going to go there with me. For me its a headache to have a man around most of the time anyways, we pick up after them, we eventually will have to wipe there asses for them, well I'll tell ya, I've wiped my fair share of butts in my life and am not looking forward to that day. Either way sometimes I just fantasize what it would be like to just be single again without the headache of a man. Oh don't worry, I wont be doing that but doesn't mean I don't think about it, I am human. I share children with him and I am a firm believer that both parents should be there for the kids on an every day basis. I have an older child from my first marriage and know the aggravation and the heartache it has been for my son.

I am bitching but its not because I don't love my husband because I do. He is one of my best friends and I know that even if he is acts like a man most of the time that he loves me more than almost anyone on this earth, so for that I'll grow old with him probably bitching the whole way but lord knows what all these men are saying when they are with their buddies about there wives, Ive heard a few stories and men are not very nice either about us women, if you know what I mean.

Okay well Ive vented for today on that subject, I'll leave it at that. The person that said Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus was soooooo right.


Michael said...

I'm so glad you have this blog :-)

I feel like using writing as a creative outlet for your life is a great way to find your voice. It's helped me a lot over the years...

I look forward to reading more & seeing you grow!

fancy said...

Hey there, daughter! You keep up with the writing and I know it will do you tons of good! I know because I did this very same thing (though didn't have a p.c. to post) but still, I did it. I would write to my hearts' content about anything and everything. I noticed that afterwards I felt relaxed and different. The tension was gone. Often times my words would grow really large and the script would show anger in the way my hand wrote it. The words weren't as important as just getting out the feelings. I did that, and I read a lot of self-help books. Finally, my eyes began to see a bigger picture, and a better ending, and peace came. It takes time, and it takes validating your own feelings whether anyone else does or not! Love you, and you keep plowing on! Rock your world, girl! Love, Mom