Friday, January 11, 2013

Family unit is my own

So today, this minute, I'm only contemplating my life since I've been having babies, I've lived in some fantasy world that I could raise my kids with some sence of importance of family bonds. I've tried desperately with so many of my family living far away for my kids to grow up knowing them and loving them no matter how much we do or don't see them. I think most of this has been a waste of time, a waste of energy, I wanted this hallmark card of this big family unit and a coming together, I have found out though that it isn't possible if your the only one fighting for that. Oh yes we do have moments through the year that we will travel or the grandparents will travel to see one another but the time in between is tearing any sence of a family unit apart. Such crap really, life is only how long god allows for us to be here on this earth, when we are gone were gone, no getting that time back, we use all of our time working and stressing about everything! The kids grow, and time is just gone. I am sad really because there is time that could be taken advantage of and it's just not, I have family near even but we are not a unit, so in the end what I feel is I, my kids and my husband, we really only have each other, I need to stop worrying about whether the aunts, uncles, grandmas, grandpas..ect are around or take a part in mine or my beautiful kids life, I need to just accept the time that they give to them, expect nothing more, and enjoy my life in front of me, what the beautiful lord god gave to me, my children, not to sweat any of the other stuff, make my world my dreams my fantasy.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

11 years married!

I will try not to make this to long, mainly because I'm tired.  It has been forever since I have blogged and really need to do some catching up but just tonight I'm going to highlight just my day.
Today I celebrated my eleventh wedding anniversary! Wow! So many people, friends and family, although loved by all doubted us and our relationship including "how long this would last". Well maybe they had good reasons to doubt?  Who knows, I guess everyone always has an opinion.  What I can say that today looking over all the years that have passed we have proved them wrong in so many ways.  We have a beautiful life, four beautiful children, a home, each other, faith and lots of love and affection.  Is everything perfect? No way! LOL  But, we continue to work hard and push through the struggles that continue to come our way and that's all anyone can really ask for.
I am thankful for my husband, truly the only person that knows me inside and out, a friendship that I rely on completely.  I am not whole without my other half! Happy 11 years!  And many many more for us!